blue waves hits again

I am feeling blue.... although i get along with most of the new colleagues and do have some good fun at times, the long hours are tiring me but I still enjoy the challenges but the recent few days I sense my short temperness is flaring up and visible by colleagues and i started to feel stupid about it.

In addition, the isolated feelings comes back again. I felt I dont belong anywhere and that makes me very sad. Yet I cannot show it out to anyone.
However I seemed to be doing or not doing things that makes it worse for myself and people around me.

I feel trapped that I dont seem to have the courage to take a step forward in terms of S. Its clear to me that S treats me as a colleague only and my recent apparent flares of short temperness certaintly wont score me any good points in her card. Another issue I am facing now is really pertaining to leadership and managing people at work. There is an individual who gets on my nerve and she knows I am very annoyed. As much as I dont like how I am behaving, I am still struggling not to be annoyed at times.

I guess its karma, now C is very annoyed with me. Gosh...
I dont know how to handle C situations...and I really dont want C to be annoyed with me... sigh...

feeling the blues of not having someone to talk to wholeheartedly and without any other interuptions...